Hi and welcome to my first personal post about… well. It’s kind of implied.

I’ve always been a big fan of self expression in the blogging community. It takes strength to walk out into the relentless world of internet judgement and talk openly about your life. But I’m willing to take this risk.

Anyways, my name is Ebonie and the first thing that you should know about me is my knack for over-analysis of absolutely every fucking thing in my life. Whenever I enter a situation, I’ve already thought about 10 different outcomes that could become of it.  Granted that this is a trait that has served me well in my career in technology – Not so much when it comes to human interaction and relationships.

Whenever I meet someone new and I’m listening to them speak, I think of every possible interpretation of the words that are spoken instead of just taking it for what it is. And the more I think about these ridiculous interpretations, the more they become reality to me and I begin to interact with that person taking my interpretation as truth. And this is why I tend to say the following phrases:

“I hate small talk.”
“I hate humans.”
“I hate going to parties.”
“I just going to do it by myself.”

Don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely an introvert and proud of it. But I’m being honest with myself in saying that I get a lot of anxiety when I’m meeting new people. But if you meet me, you would not pick up on this at all because I’m actually quite the charmer. (If you’re a friend reading my post, I totally had you fooled, huh?)

I talk about this because it’s something that I am working hard to undo in myself because, honestly, it’s a horrible way to spend your time. Being in your head that much? It really affects my mental state and I know it will eventually affect my physical state if I keep it up.

So the next couple of posts will be about what I’m doing to help lower my anxiety in my life. So I’ll see you in a few.